Register for our free webinar on this topic at lunchtime on May 19th: What to Do When Someone Dies (and Something Feels Wrong).
Your father just died, so you’re making funeral arrangements, notifying family, and trying to figure out what needs to happen next. But somewhere in the back of your mind, something doesn’t feel quite right.
Maybe it’s the caregiver who keeps deflecting when you ask about Dad’s will. Perhaps your sister changed the locks before you could get into the house. Maybe you’re seeing bank statements that don’t make sense, or hearing about a new estate plan you never knew existed.
You tell yourself you’re just stressed and that maybe you’re reading too much into normal confusion. But what if that uncomfortable feeling means something?
What Can I Do Right Away?
The period immediately after someone dies is when important decisions are made and when critical details can easily be overlooked. Not necessarily because of anything bad, but because everyone is grieving, overwhelmed, and trying to handle things they’ve never dealt with before.
Whatever the case, there are things you can do immediately. These steps protect the estate and prepare for proper administration. Moreover, they’re appropriate, regardless of whether there are suspicious activities or not. Colorado law prevents us from filing for probate until five (5) days after your loved one dies. However, there are things that you can and should do now to protect and secure the estate and prepare for probate.
- Secure the property: Ensure the house is locked and maintained. Take photos of the home’s condition and contents. This is standard practice for estate administration.
- Locate important documents: Find the will, trusts, Powers of Attorney, insurance policies, and financial statements. These documents guide everything that comes next.
- Document the estate’s condition: Create a basic inventory of assets and their approximate values. Keep records of bills paid, arrangements made, and conversations about estate matters. Good documentation helps everyone.
- Ask direct, factual questions: “Can I see the will?” “What happened to the estate plan Mom did in 2015?” “Can you explain these bank transactions?” Reasonable people provide reasonable answers. The response to fair questions is revealing.
- Consult an attorney for more clarity: You don’t have to file a lawsuit to talk to a lawyer. A consultation can help you understand whether what you’re observing is normal or concerning, and what your options might be.
We have a version of this list available to download, and a more thorough blog on basic steps to take after a loved one dies, for additional information.
When Uncomfortable Feelings Deserve Attention
Not every uneasy feeling after a death signals wrongdoing. Family dynamics that were already strained become more difficult under the stress of grief. Misunderstandings can happen, and people handle loss in different ways. But certain patterns are worth paying attention to if you encounter them:
- Access issues: Someone changed the house locks, and you weren’t given a key. You’re having difficulty seeing financial documents or estate planning papers. Sometimes questions go unanswered or get met with vague promises to “talk about that later.”
- Document concerns: Estate planning documents you helped your parent create seem to have disappeared, or a new will surfaces that contradicts everything you understood about your parents’ wishes. Powers of Attorney were changed shortly before death without the family’s knowledge.
- Financial inconsistencies: Your parent had substantial savings, but account balances don’t match what you expected, or there are unexplained withdrawals or loans to people you don’t recognize.
- Pressure to move quickly: Someone is pushing you to sign papers before you’ve had time to review them, to agree to arrangements without asking questions, or to “just let things go” when you raise legitimate concerns.
- A plan that doesn’t match the person: Your mother supported her church for 40 years, but her new will leaves them nothing. Your father always said he’d treat his children equally, but one child inherits everything. The documents don’t reflect the values of the person you knew.
These patterns don’t automatically mean something improper happened. But they do warrant a closer look. The key is taking appropriate protective steps without damaging relationships based on suspicions that might turn out to be unfounded. Going through the standard steps doesn’t harm anyone if everything is fine. They’re simply good estate administration practice, but if there isn’t an innocent explanation, you’ve preserved your ability to address it.
Trust Your Instincts, Then Verify the Facts
If something feels off in those first days after a death, that feeling deserves attention. You know your family, and your instincts may be picking up on something worth examining. But act on facts, not just feelings. Take the methodical protective steps, ask clear questions, and gather information. If you need to, talk to professionals who can help you understand what you’re seeing.
What Your Legal Options Look Like
If your concerns turn out to have merit, for example, if documents were created under undue influence, or if someone misused their authority as an agent or fiduciary, then Colorado law provides ways to address these situations. Here’s a handout of the various legal options available to you depending on your circumstances.
You may be able to challenge estate documents, petition to remove someone who’s mismanaging assets, request court-ordered accountings, or freeze assets while matters get resolved. But these legal remedies require evidence, and that evidence is much easier to preserve in those first few weeks after a death than it is months or years later.
Learn the Right Steps to Take
If you’re in those first confusing weeks after a death and something doesn’t feel right, or you just want to be prepared, I’m hosting a free webinar on exactly this situation.
I’ll walk through the essential steps everyone should take immediately after a death, how to recognize what’s normal versus what deserves closer attention, what you can legally do even before probate is filed, and when concerns warrant consulting an attorney. Register for our free webinar on this topic at lunchtime on May 19th: What to Do When Someone Dies (and Something Feels Wrong).
